An Education

Little kid Lisa had 3 examples of grown-up relationships in her everyday life:

1. The Sims

2. Musical Theater

3. Her parents and their friends

Each of these taught her different things, sometimes wonderful things, sometimes realistic things and sometimes confusing things. Let me explain:

The Sims

• Goosing is an acceptable form of public affection

• Confetti falls from the sky and bells tinkle post-sex
• If the Grim Reaper comes or you set your house on fire or child services takes your firstborn, you just load a saved game and reset everything

Musical Theater

• Liza Minnelli and Barbra Streisand are desirable in real life
• The most important conversations are prefaced with an orchestral interlude and the MOST important have a dance break
  
• You can wash men out of your hair

Her Parents and Their Friends

• Every person who meets their spouse in college overcomes the 50% divorce rate
• Dating the same person for 10 years is normal
• Every person finds their significant other hilarious

I make so much sense.